Paige Hareb’s story

Taranaki surfer Paige Hareb has fond memories of her Nana, Barbara Erb.

“She’s one of the kindest people I know. She always wants to help, she will ask you about your day, how you’re doing, and of course – without fail – asks if I have a boyfriend yet,” says Paige.

“She’s in a home now and the staff are always telling us that she’s trying to help everyone in there. She will always put you first before herself.”

Barbara was diagnosed with Alzheimers in 2019. She was starting to misplace things more and more, when Paige’s mum and sister encouraged her to see her GP.

“I remember Mum telling me that they asked Nana to spell the word ‘world’ backwards, and she couldn’t do it – although Nana had to leave school when she was 14 and for some unknown reason has always written in capitals,” says Paige.

“I remember Mum telling me some of the other test questions, and I swear even I wouldn’t be able to answer them.”

Adding further to the stress, Paige’s Grandad, Roy Erb passed away during the Covid-19 pandemic, which is when Paige thought Barbara has gone downhill fast.

“She seemed to get confused more and the turning point to move her into a home was when she was trying to cook at home and poured oil straight onto the hot element stove instead of into a pan.”

Paige says the biggest impact has been on her Mum and two sisters.

“At least one of the three daughters will try and visit nana every single day. There’s always some issue or something going on that they need to discuss to try and keep nana the happiest she can be in the home,” she says.

“Seeing my Mum come home from visiting Nana sometimes when she’s at her worst and seeing my Mum sad and upset about it is hard to see. I think slowly seeing the deterioration and some days Nana not being the Nana I know can be quite hard and confronting.”

Paige travels a lot with her surfing career but every time she comes home, she always makes time to go and see her.

“It makes me smile every time she still remembers me and that I surf or ‘do that thing in the water’. My Mum and I try and chat about anything that will interest her, we try and take her out for lunch or even just a drive around town and to the beach to get an ice cream, she loves being out of the home and with you,” says Paige.

“But I know it can’t get better than that so each time I go to visit I try and prepare myself for disappointment, I guess. But she’s such a sweetheart – I always find myself saying goodbye with a smile.”

Paige says every journey is different, so you’ll need to be super open and prepared to adapt.

“At the moment I feel like I’m at a stage with Nana where some days I’m like ‘ahh, that’s the Nana I know, she was so good today.

“Then the next day she almost seems like a different person or different personality, and that’s super hard to see and watch – but I always tell myself she just wants and needs love and her happiest times do seem to be around friends and family.

“Sometimes I think it’s harder for me and my Mum and sisters than it is for Nana, so I think just try and be there for them as much as you can and share the love as much as you can.”

Paige wants to share a huge thanks to the nurses at Rhapsody Ultimate care.

“They help out and look after Nana, but honestly I admire how much time my Mum and sisters put in too to help keep Nana happy,” she says.

If you or anybody you know needs more support, reach out to your local Alzheimers or Dementia organisation.